Dating Chinese Women – The Phone Number Conundrum

When you’re out and about in China, don’t be surprised if girls come up to you and ask for your phone number. Guys do it, too. That’s a little disconcerting, but is a product of the general kudos that comes with having foreign ‘friends,’ especially in the smaller towns and cities where it’s more of a novelty.

Take it in your stride and don’t get too excited. The phone number thing can lead to all kinds of misunderstandings. In Western culture, if a girl comes up and asks for your number, or even better, gives you hers, you could be forgiven for thinking you’d be onto a winner. Otherwise, she wouldn’t give you her number, right?

Wrong.

It’s not that simple in China. Most things aren’t that simple in China. There are huge cultural differences.

Let’s, for example, say that you are out walking one afternoon, meet a woman, make a bit of small talk and exchange phone numbers. You might go home and send her a text message. The odds are, she won’t reply.

Yeah, she might be busy, so you leave it a day or two and text her again.

No reply.

If she is especially hot, or you are especially desperate, you might try one more time.

Still no reply.

It’s at this point that most Western guys give up, because in our culture if a girl doesn’t reply to your messages she isn’t interested.

Not necessarily so in China.

There, they value patience and persistence much more than western girls do. If you ask Chinese couples to tell you how they met, it’s not unusual to hear slightly creepy tales of overly possessive behaviour and what, to our Western minds, sound a lot like stalking. One girl I know told me that her then-boyfriend won her over by standing outside her dormitory every night and following her whenever she went out. In the end, she just gave in and ‘accepted’ his love, whereas most Western women probably would have called the police.

If you concede defeat the girl will conclude you didn’t really like her much anyway, otherwise you wouldn’t have given up so easily.

Get it?

Extracted from the book Dating Chinese Women: Tips, Tricks & Techniques. Available in ebook and paperback NOW

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Finding Women in China – Off the Beaten Track

If going to bars and clubs isn’t your thing, don’t worry about it. You will also find an abundance of single ladies in shopping malls, cafes, supermarkets, parks, museums, libraries and public attractions of all descriptions.

Chinese women have pre-conceived ideas of what a ‘gentleman’ is, and it’s easy to play up to that. Introduce yourself and pretend to be lost, or ask for directions. A nice trick is to ask her opinion on something. This gives the impression that you value her thoughts and ideas. You can expect to be rejected a lot, obviously. But this is a numbers game, so the more women you approach the higher your chances become. It’s like being a footballer. The more shots you attempt, the more goals you score.

Approach them in much the same way you would a western girl, but with one crucial difference:

You don’t need any fancy openers here.

You’re foreign, so she’s already interested in what you have to say. Just be non-threatening, smile a lot, and over polite. Preface whatever you say with, “Excuse me, miss. Do you speak any English?” The vast majority speak at least some, but you are also giving her a convenient ‘get out’ clause. If she isn’t interested she can just say “no” and you can both move on.

Taking part in extra-curricular activities is another good way to meet women. Join a gym, a social club, or a Chinese class and look out for cultural events and activities like dumpling making and tea ceremony classes. Chinese women are very proud of their culture and history, and would love to tell you more about it. Also, the male-female ratio at most of these events is heavily weighted in your favour. Bonus.

If that’s too much trouble, volunteer for English corners or English clubs. You won’t have to spend too long looking for them. As soon as the people who run them find out there is a new foreigner in town, they’ll be begging you to get involved. Many private schools run such events to attract new students, and it isn’t unheard of for teachers at different places to swap duties and appear at each other’s English corners just to meet new women.

Extracted from the book Dating Chinese Women: Tips, Tricks & Techniques. Available in ebook and paperback NOW!

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Interview with Alex Coverdale – Part 4

Last time, we discussed our two favourite topics – sex and women. Now, in the final instalment, we talk about the ‘best’ and ‘worst,’ future projects, and some random shit.

Of all your adventures, what’s the most incredible thing you’ve ever done?

That would be a long list. I couldn’t possibly choose just one thing. I’ve been lucky enough to meet a lot of celebrities in my line of work. I’m almost disappointed at the fact that the vast majority of them are just normal people, except they all have more money than me. As for activities, looking for dinosaur eggs in the Gobi desert, which I talk about in Yellow Fever – Love & Sex in China, is right up there, so is taking a helicopter to the top of a mountain to watch people ski off it in Zermatt, Switzerland. Just visiting America is an eye-opening experience. It’s just like being in a TV show. As for specific places to visit, I would recommend Granada in Spain, Pingyao in China, Milan, Italy, and London has a special buzz about it that’s unlike anywhere else in the world.

Where is the best place you’ve ever visited?

I think Beijing just pips London. I lived there for a year during Olympic year in 2008, and there was such an air of excitement. During that time, I learned a lot about China, the media, and the world in general. I loved hanging out in the Hutongs, and being able to visit world-famous places like The Great Wall and Forbidden City whenever I felt like. The only downside is all the people. It’s overcrowded and polluted.

And the worst?

I lived in the St Mary’s district of Southampton for a while when I was a student. That was an experience. It used to be the red light district. The house was falling to bits, and there was a crazy German girl living upstairs. She used to catch mice and keep them in glass jars in her room. Very weird.

So far, you’ve only really written about Asia. Any plans to address some other continents?

Maybe. I’ve been considering writing a book about my younger days when I travelled around Europe more. I spent a lot of time in Spain. The problem is, that was so long ago I can’t really remember much. It doesn’t help that I was wasted most of the time. It would have to be more of a memoir, because any information I could give will be outdated by now.

What do you do when you are NOT writing or travelling?

I write horror fiction under another name. As I explained before, I have different names for different kinds of writing as they generally don’t cross over very well. Other than that, I am a big sports fan. I love football  and MMA. I did karate to a reasonably high level when I was younger. Now I prefer to just read about it, haha.

If you could teleport to another place, right now, where would you go?

It would be a toss-up between Selena Gomez’s bed, or Rio de Janeiro. Probably Rio, I wouldn’t want to freak Selena out too much. She’s far too delicate.

My latest release, Dating Chinese Women – Tips, Tricks & Techniques, is available now on ebook and paperback.

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Interview with Alex Coverdale – Part 3

Last time, we talked about travel destinations and offered some advice for solo travelers. Now, we turn our attention to sex and women.

What kind of women do you go for?

I get asked that question a lot. I love oriental women. If I was explaining this to a woman, I’d be more sensitive about it and say something about how much I love their character and caring attitude. But the truth is, my attraction is way more physical. I just love dark hair, skin and eyes. I haven’t dated a Caucasian woman in years.

Let’s talk about sex!

Okay.

How old were you when you lost your virginity?

Fifteen. In a cold, wet alley on Christmas Eve. She was Eighteen. It was shit. I was drunk, and had no idea what I was doing anyway so she had to go on top. I remember going home with all the skin on my ass shredded. I saw her again a couple of weeks later and asked if I could walk her home. She said, “No, I’d better not. My fiancé is here and we’re getting married in two weeks!”

How many women have you slept with?

I don’t know. I stopped counting in my mid-twenties. Back then it was a dozen or so. Things moved up several gears when I moved to China. Suddenly, I didn’t even have to try any more. I just had to be there, and girls would flock to me. I’m not special, they do it with most white guys. After I learned a bit about them, and adjusted to the various social differences, I couldn’t fail. You can read about all this in Dating Chinese Women – Tips, Tricks & Techniques. By the time I left China I suppose my grand total would be fifty or so. If you include ones I’ve paid for it would be double. Plus another dozen since I left.

So you still meet Chinese girls? How?

Sure. I dated three last year alone. I have my methods, none of which would be possible without my smartphone. The last one I slept with I met on Facebook about two years ago. We had a mutual friend and she just popped up in my feed. A few months ago she visited England on a student exchange program, so I went to the city she was staying in, took her to dinner, and then back to my hotel. It was one of the best nights of my life.

What kind of lover are you?

Very generous. Here’s my Number One tip; make sure the lady comes first. Use your tongue, you fingers, whatever it takes. Then, you can pretty much do what you want with her, and she won’t even care if you manage two pumps and a squirt. I am quit vanilla, though. I’ve been around and had a lot of experiences, but nothing too weird.

What’s the weirdest you got?

A couple of years ago I met a Chinese student in London. One thing led to another, and we ended up in bed back at her place. It was all going well until she started saying things like, “Fuck me harder, daddy,” and asking me to hurt her. I’m not into sadism. Each to their own, but I think sex should be a pleasurable experience, not a painful one. I didn’t mind the daddy talk. That was hot. But that got old when, after we’d finished bumping uglies, she turned to me and asked me to tell her a story.

Do you worry about your sexual health?

Not at all. I almost always use condoms, and I get regular health checks. By the way, when you travel, especially to Asia, always take condoms with you. There are a lot of fake products available, even in big stores, and one thing you can’t afford to take chances on is condoms. In some countries, notably Thailand, you might find the sizes are naturally smaller which means they are less comfortable and more prone to breaking.

My latest book, Dating Chinese Women – Tips, Tricks & Techniques, is available now on ebook and paperback.

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Interview with Alex Coverdale – Part 2

Last time, we talked about the pseudonym, the books, and the message. This time, we cover travel destinations and offer some advice for solo travellers.

Which places have you visited?

All four countries in the UK; England, Scotland, Ireland and Wales. A lot of people outside Europe don’t appreciate the fact that the UK consists of four distinct countries. But it does, and they are all very different. Then there’s China and Thailand, which I’ve written about at length, and Spain, Italy, France, Germany, Holland, Belgium, Switzerland, Greece, Russia, Azerbaijan, America. I have a real soft spot for Ibiza and Majorca, the Spanish islands. I love the climate and the lifestyle in Spain.

Why do you love travel so much?

It’s a big part of my life. Sometimes I travel for work, other times for pleasure. I just want to see and experience as much as I can. It’s such a rich and diverse world out there. I read that Lonely Planet quote when I was quite young (‘The world is a book, and if you don’t travel, you only read one page’) and that had a profound effect on me. I grew up in one of those small towns where everyone knows each other and everyone knows everyone else’s business. Frankly, I couldn’t wait to leave.

Where else is on your list?

Anywhere I haven’t yet been. I’m planning a trip to Vietnam, Indonesia or Cambodia within the next year. I’d like to stay a while, though, so I might try to find a job over there for a few months. That’s the best way to truly experience a place. If you just go on a holiday and then come back you only get a taste. It’s like going to a bar, ordering a beer, and only having a few sips. I want to drink the whole glass, then probably get another. No doubt there’ll be a book about my adventures.

What general advice would you give to solo travellers?

Do your research. Get to know a bit about your destination before you leave. Don’t only look for the night spots, read up on the climate so you’ll know what clothes to take and things like local customs and, political situation, and other things that may affect your trip. If you are trying to save money, spend a bit of time on price comparison sites and factor in things like departure and arrival times. If, for example, you arrive in a city at 6 am, remember you won’t be able to check into your hotel until one or two o’clock in the afternoon, so make sure you have somewhere to go. Book an extra night if you have to. Sometimes, it’s much cheaper to fly into less fashionable cities or airports. Finally, travel light. I see a lot of people dragging too much stuff around with them. All you really need should be able to fit into a decent-sized backpack. If you only have one bag, you won’t have to check it in then wait for it at baggage reclaim. Bonus!

What do you look for when you travel?

I’m a man of simple pleasures. I like hot girls, sunshine, pretty places and cold beer. I’m generally more attracted to places of natural beauty rather than cities, but they obviously have their advantages.

What’s the worst experience you’ve had whilst travelling?

When I was younger I travelled from the UK to Rotterdam in Holland for a concert by coach. That was a gruelling experience. It took about 20 hours to get there, and soon after I arrived I got robbed in a cafe. I bought a cup of coffee, turned around for a moment, and when I turned back, my bags were gone. Luckily, all my important stuff like money and passport were in my pockets.

On the way back, our coach passed through France and was stopped by French border police. They made us all get off the coach and take our luggage into this little room. They were looking for drugs. I smoked a lot of weed back then, and I had some cigarette papers on me. The police found them and took me into this little room to be strip-searched and interrogated. I remember being freezing cold, wearing only a pair of socks, being questioned at gun point. Those police searched everywhere. And I mean everywhere. Except in between my toes, where I’d stashed my dope.

My latest release, Dating Chinese Women – Tips, Tricks, & Techniques, is out now on paperback and ebook.

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Top Tips for Dating Chinese Women

1: To make a good impression, always be polite and respectful – open doors, pull her chair out for her in the restaurant, let her choose from the menu first, etc.

2: Be attentive, and ask her questions about herself. Even if you aren’t generally interested, fake it.

3: Dress smartly and look presentable.

4: Wear aftershave

5: Steer the conversation towards your assets – your house, car, earnings, savings, etc.

6: Know the basics about Chinese culture, and learn at least a few words or phrases to show you are willing to make the effort.

7: Be positive, and never openly criticize your family. The family unit is very important in Chinese culture, don’t disrespect it.

8: Don’t put pressure on her. Let things move at her pace, which will probably be a lot slower than you are used to.

9: That said, remember the onus is on you to take the lead. Expect to be forced to break through a wall of token resistance.

10: Impress her. She likely has many potential suitors. Stand out from the crowd. Luckily for you, being a foreigner, that part is effectively done for you.

11: Try to display some of the qualities she likes; kindness, responsibility, and a good sense of humour are top of the list.

Extracted from the book Dating Chinese Women: Tips, Tricks & Techniques. Available in ebook and paperback NOW

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NEW RELEASE – DATING CHINESE WOMEN

From the #1 Amazon Bestselling author of Yellow Fever: Love & Sex in China and Thailand: 27 Days of Sin comes this MUST HAVE for anyone planning on visiting China, pursuing Chinese women, or those simply interested in the dynamics of cross-cultural or mixed-race relationships.

Chinese women are among the most desirable in the world and their love for Western men is well-documented. Yet for so many, they remain unattainable. Not any more. This indispensable book will teach you all you need to know about dating Chinese women – how to find them, how to approach them, how to get them into bed, how to form lasting relationships, and perhaps most importantly, what they want from you.

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Dating Chinese Women: Tips, Tricks & Techniques. Available in ebook and paperback NOW!

Prostitution in China

Tianjin, China, November 2009.

One evening Maverick my class room assistant called and said he wanted to show me something. I didn’t have anything else to do so I met him near my apartment, and we got a taxi.

“Where are we going?”

“The place men go to get away from their wives.”

Really? Interesting.

This mythical location turned out to be a public spa and sauna. It was a beautiful place, tastefully done out in marble and red velvet. We had to sign in, get changed, then go to the steam rooms. After we finished in the sauna, one of the workers took us aside and asked, via Maverick who was translating, whether we would like any extras. I thought the guy was talking about towels, bath salts and stuff.

“He means girls,” said Maverick. “He’s asking if you want one. Or two.”

“Like a prostitute?”

“What’s that? He means a sex girl. They are waiting upstairs.”

Apparently, the upper levels of the spa and sauna housed a brothel. For 200 rmb, about £20, you could choose any one of about a dozen resident ‘sex girls’ and have your wicked way with her.

I’d done a little research into prostitution in China. It’s technically illegal, but much more common than you would think. Girls simply move to a city nobody knows them, sign up with a brothel, and tell their families they work in an office or something. They can earn much more money selling sex than they can working a conventional job. Most do it for a year or two to make some capital, then they start a business, go to university, or use the money to buy a house. Some students even do it during the holidays to help pay their tuition fees.

Different cities have different ways of shielding the practice. In Beijing they slide business cards with a phone number under your door, down south they masquerade as hairdressing salons, and in Tianjin, evidently, they use public baths as fronts. Apparently, a lot of brothels are owned by ex-policemen and soldiers, who use their connections, relationships and influence (known as ‘guanxi’) to keep the places open and avoid being shut-down. That’s how things work in China. If a competing brothel was opened by someone who didn’t have the right connections, it wouldn’t last five minutes. The same can be said for any kind of business.

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I was curious, but nervous. I’d recently heard of yet another scam where dumb foreigners are led into a room under the pretence of meeting a prostitute, only to be fake-arrested by a couple of goons pretending to be policemen. Of course, they offer to drop all the charges against you if you paid them a large sum of money. I wasn’t falling for that. Maverick assured me this place was legit. Or as legit as a Chinese brothel can be, I suppose, and I eventually agreed to go upstairs to take a look.

I was expecting a smoky little den full of ropey, middle-aged women, but what we encountered was something quite different. Maverick and I sat on a plush sofa in a little room with complimentary beer and cigarettes, whilst a procession of beautiful young girls came in, each better looking than the last. I suppose, even considering the difference in perceived beauty between east and west, in those situations unattractive girls would tend to get overlooked in favour of hotter ones and soon drifted out of the profession. Even poorly-paid factory or office work is better than no work at all.

Maverick had never had sex before. That was a tragedy. The guy was in his mid-twenties. Where I’m from the average age for a guy to lose his virginity is around seventeen, often a lot younger. I had been fifteen. So I told him to choose a girl and I would pay. I knew he couldn’t afford it, and I still felt bad about making so much more money than he did for doing what was essentially the same job.

Maverick made his choice and disappeared into a side room, looking absolutely petrified. I gave him a thumb’s up and stuck around on the sofa for a few minutes while the girls kept coming. Eventually one caught my eye. Most of them were hot, but this one blew my mind. She was absolutely stunning. I would have happily paid 200 rmb just to look into her big gorgeous eyes for a while. She had more southern features than northern. Petite, slim, long hair. Late teens or early-twenties.

We went into another dimly-lit room containing only a big double bed and another plush sofa. I was wearing nothing but a bath robe. The moment the door closed behind us, the girl got on her knees and started expertly licking the end of my cock. Minutes later, she was deep throating me.         Confession time: I have a complex when it comes to blow jobs. I can’t jizz in a girl’s mouth. I don’t know why. Some kind of mental block. It’s something that’s always driven girlfriend’s crazy. Which is a blessing, because they all want to be The First and put a hell of a lot of effort into it. Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy a good blow job. I just can’t get over the finish line. For me, it’s more of a foreplay thing. It gets me hard. I think the closest I ever came, pun intended, was right then.

But I didn’t want to waste my climax. And if I was paying for it, I at least wanted to penetrate the girl. So I took off her dress, lay her on the bed, stuck it in, and climaxed almost instantly. She was so damn beautiful. I wasn’t having that. I knew I might never see her again, so I paid double. The second time, I paced myself and lasted over an hour. Whatever your opinion of prostitution, that still stands as some of the best sex I’ve ever had.

Extracted from Yellow Fever: Love & Sex in China by Alex Coverdale, available now on paperback and ebook.

My first Thai Massage

Extracted from my book Thailand: 27 Days of Sin

Thailand is famous for its massages, and you can find massage parlours in virtually every street, especially where I was staying in Sukhumvit district. In fact, there are entire streets that consist of nothing but massage parlours.

It’s often assumed that ‘massage parlour’ is a by-word for ‘brothel.’ Therefore, a lot of visitors would be disappointed to find that the vast majority of massage parlours are just that. Massage parlours. Apparently, a lot of them don’t even offer ‘happy endings’ (a hand job), but if there is a gaggle of heavily-made up girls outside wearing miniskirts, calling you, and beckoning you in, it’s probably a safe bet that they do.

You usually find the places offering sexual services in clusters off the main roads, and the names of the establishments (Passion House, Private Heaven, Sexy Massage, etc) are often dead giveaways.

What I did was walk around for a while until I found somewhere I liked the look of, and then had a sneaky look through the window to gauge the calibre of girl. They say if you want a good massage, find an older, less-attractive woman. If you are there for the extras and choose a younger, better-looking girl, don’t expect a good massage. I was more interested in the extras than the massage, and I had no intention of paying an ugly girl to wank me off, you can get a wank off an ugly girl any day of the week.

I’d been told that when you go to these places, you should be sure to ask for an oil massage. That way you are guaranteed a private room and the girls are more likely to offer extras. Remember, though, that whatever happens is entirely at the girl’s discretion. You can’t go in there making demands.

At this particular place there were five or six girls to choose from, all draped on sofas and smiling, much like the girls in the brothels I used to frequent when I lived in china. I chose a girl I liked, and went with her upstairs to a private room where she told me to strip. What followed was a pretty average massage, to be fair, not that I’m an expert. She left my chest and the insides of my thighs until last, and made sure to glide her hands within centimetres of my dick and balls. By the time she finished, I was rock hard. This was obviously more by design than accident on her part. When I was fully erect, she fixed me with a pair of huge almond eyes and said, “Do you want special massage?”

“What’s that? Exactly?” I asked. Of course, I had a fair idea, but I wanted to be certain, and was very aware that I was at that vulnerable time when guys are liable to agree to absolutely anything.

“Hand job. Make sir shoot.”

“Will you suck it?”

“No.”

“Can I touch your boobs?”

“No.”

“Just a hand job?”

“Yes.”

“How much?”

“1000 baht more.”

“On top of the 250 for the regular massage?”

“Yes.”

“500 extra.”

“Okay.”

It wasn’t quite what I’d been hoping for, and I couldn’t help thinking I could have got the ‘extras’ a little cheaper. But 750 baht (about £17) seemed reasonable enough considering I was with the girl for over an hour and to be fair, it was one of the best wanks I’ve ever had.

After she finished, I paid her the 500, which went straight into her pocket, then I went downstairs to pay the 250 for the regular massage. It’s clear that’s how the massage girls make the bulk of their money, and they probably don’t declare it to either the tax man or the establishment which employs them.

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Thailand: 27 Days of Sin is OUT NOW on paperback and ebook.